Why does time have to pass so quickly?

Why does time have to pass so quickly?

It’s already Tuesday morning. It’s very early and everyone is still sleeping. There is so much going on each day that it’s very hard to want to open the laptop to write because I will most assuredly miss out on something.

To say that in the short few days that I’ve been here it has been an “experience”, really misses the mark somehow. Here’s a run down of what has happened for those checking my blog and for myself to be able to remember later as details can get mired when so much goes on.

It happened like this:

ARRIVAL IN DELHI: So I take a deep breath, grab all of my belongings and depart. I feel nervous because I don’t know what to expect and I’m by myself. In the past I’ve always relied on other people whenever I’ve traveled out of the country to help me navigate things and this time I was going to have to put my big girl panties on, as they say, and do it myself. I have to say that it was empowering actually because I made my own way. As fate would have it there was another American woman there by the luggage carousel that knew the ropes. She had traveled many times to Delhi for business and so we started talking. My luggage came pretty quickly, (all of it thank God!), and off I went through customs. She kept an eye on me, I certainly kept my eye on her to watch what she was doing and before I knew it it was done. Upon writing this I realize that the “by myself” usage may not be entirely accurate, but of note would be the realization both that I love the knack I have to find people when I need them and am not afraid to ask or talk, but also I see that from the very beginning people were provided to me to make my venture less scary, less daunting and ultimately more safe.

Customs was a breeze. I don’t remember if he actually even asked a question of me. I did however find it remarkable once again to see security men in the airport which I think are actually police men, with heavy machinery strapped to their backs. It makes you realize that you’re not in Kansas anymore, but by the same token once put into perspective I felt comforted somehow that should the stuff hit the fan that if necessary one shot would do it. Efficiency.

Connected with my guide for the rest of the trip, Ujuul (I call him Danny, but am getting the hand of his name now), was loads of fun. Okay, a little nerve wracking, but again turned out just fine and in the meantime, I realized my own self-sufficiency. Guests are not allowed into the airport and so I had to go out. Deepthi had told me that there was only one way out, but there was two, like a T-shape. I went left when of course, I should have gone right. It was the best thing I could have done however because there were chairs there and as I would find out later, Danny was much delayed due to the traffic for Independence Day and the heavy rains, (it is Monsoon Season after all). I didn’t know that however and so I just hung out and soaked up all of the incredible people watching.

It was raining when I arrived and what I would say is that it’s a different kind of rain than what I’m used to. This was a steady rain with no thunder or lightening or wind of any kind. If I could compare it to anything I would picture a shower with a steady stream of water just washing everything away.

When I couldn’t find him after about an hour I have to admit that I started to get a little nervous. I told myself to remain calm, but as anyone who knows me even a little bit, I tend to get a little “anxious” when things don’t happen immediately or as I think they should and so this was a grand exercise in trust for me - a very important attribute to develop.

People are staring at me, but there is no issue. Red hair, white skin, red baggage - whatever. I decide that my best course of action is to act as if I know what the heck it is I’m doing and simply relaxing while I wait. I know I must also look the part as well so I put my arm up on the chair next to me, lean back and begin to just patiently wait. After a bit I see that nothing is happening and so I head back inside the airport passport in hand to see what I can do.

I decide to venture out the other side and quickly realize that this is where the mass of humanity awaits their precious cargo. I simply went out the side for hotel shuttles and so forth. Now it gets a little more frightening I’m not going to lie. It’s obvious that I don’t fit in, but again I see that you must act as if you know what’s happening and are simply part of it all. I have a picture of Danny and I begin scanning the crowds. Not helping. Really not helping. After a bit I see the woman that was directly ahead of me in the flight to Delhi, I don’t know if she speaks any English, but it’s worth a try. I grabbed my luggage, crossed the barrier of the gated area that arriving passengers were in and headed into the crowd toward her. She had turned around at one point during the flight and asked if I had any Advil. She had a terrible headache. I just so happened to have a little Tylenol in my bag for emergencies and once again, as fate would have it, making that brief connection came to be tremendously helpful many hours later. Who would even think such a thing could be possible?

She was visiting Delhi to see her mother who was failing in health. She lived and worked in San Jose, California. I nearly dropped over when she said that! Had I heard of San Jose? Well, yeah I said, we just happened to have a college campus there and I had been there once already destined to possibly return yet this year. Bingo!

I told her that I was waiting for someone that hadn’t arrived yet and that I had already tried to use my phone, (International plan), go inside the airport to look for a phone that I could dial out on to reach Scott or anyone that could get in touch with Deepthi, tried using the number I had for her and tried to somehow communicate that I needed the internet. No dice. So, here I was in the middle of the rain all around me, crazy amounts of people and this one woman who might be able to help or at least provide company until things worked out. It was great and once again it was easy to connect with another woman although a stranger to help me through.

She was waiting for people also that hadn’t come and was able to ascertain from someone that traffic wasn’t just bad, it was horrible. The International and Domestic sections of the Delhi Airport are not connected and someone had told her that it was taking hours to get from one to the other even though they were less than 20 miles apart. Independence Day was making things dicey, but the heavy rains had also complicated things greatly. Flooding was rampant and many cars were stalling in the water unable to continue. In India traffic is unlike anything most people have ever seen. It’s like a giant ameba of many parts just moving and flowing in multiple directions. It may not be fast, but it works.

I kept watch on her baggage while she tried to use a phone to call her friends that were to come after her and she wasn’t having much luck at anything she tried either. We were in the same boat - two women from the U.S., one a native to Delhi and one an Irish girl from Iowa, (currently residing in Illinois yes, but Iowa is still home). We began talking with each other and I learned that she had been in the U.S. for decades. She was just as overwhelmed by the onslaught of input to the senses as I was.

Just after we exchanged contact information so that I could see her again when I flew to San Jose next, I heard someone ask me if I was Julie and I looked up to find Danny. YES! YES! YES! I am Julie and I’m happy to see you and you don’t look a thing like your picture. I would have never figured out who he was!

We instantly called Deepthi who was frantic herself realizing that I didn’t know that Danny was stuck in traffic and off we went to start a three hour tour to get to the Domestic Airport so that we could catch the flight to Hyderabad in the morning.

Getting a taxi was the first task on the agenda and by no means an easy one. We piled in and took off for the Airport. By that I simply mean that we merged in traffic slowly and proceeded to get to know each other. It was hot, humid and difficult on the ride to the airport, but also fine. The breeze was cool from the rain, but you couldn’t keep the window open for long because you’d get soaked. The taxi was also not air-conditioned and the driver had to keep wiping off the inside of the window to see. It was quite something to watch the entire process and soak in the traffic all around me. Despite the rain people were walking, riding scooters and everything else. We got to the airport and made our way past security to the interior of the airport. I don’t think this was supposed to happen for some time, but Danny, well versed in the way of Indian “gifting”, was able take us places we weren’t supposed to go. I like gifts. Gifts are nice. Gifts are important and gifts works. Rupee talks and people walk. It’s the way of India.

I tried to fix myself up in the bathroom because to my shock and horror after all of the rain, heat and humidity I looked like I had put my finger in a light socket. Not pretty and not fixable with a little lipgloss.

The counter provided ample space for me to spread out all of my tools of the trade, including my flat iron and makeup, but it was really to no avail. I did the best I could, but realized quickly that it was futile. Danny would just have to suck it up and be prepared to accept me as is! :)

We just hung out in the airport until morning. It started off a bit slow, but was okay in the end. I was anxious to get to Hyderabad now that I was in India.

Boarding the plane was great, I took a little nap and had a little breakfast and there we were. The airport in Hyderabad is brand new and GORGEOUS. Compared to what I first experienced here in 2006, this airport was like a palace. Out we went to find Deepthi and Sangum in a car with a driver and that’s when I started breaking the rules. In my excitement I have to admit that a squeal or two came out and I hugged both of them with enthusiasm. Deepthi corrected me immediately, but it was already too late. I would do better I told her with a wink, but I’m not sure she believed me.

I am currently making notes about the rest of the trip since I've been here and when I get a moment will update the blog again with the play-by-play for each day. Namaste!!

A long haul...but not too bad so far

A long haul...but not too bad so far.

I have started another movie now to pass the time. I just checked and we have about 11 hours until we reach Delhi. I just finished watching a movie with Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz called What Happens in Vegas. I laughed out loud a few times much to the chagrin of my neighbors I’m sure.

Here I am - on the plane now. I don’t know how many times over the past couple of weeks when the reality that I was going to India really sunk in did I think about all of the things I had left to do and then realized that before I knew it I would be on the plane. I can’t believe how quickly time passes and by the same token, I know that soon I will be on the plane coming home.

I decided to purchase a one-day pass to the Admirals Club offered through American Airlines and would do it again in a heartbeat if given the opportunity. It made my stay at O’Hare Airport for the 5 hours or so until my flight left for Delhi much more pleasant. I walked in, looked around, spotted a bar to my left and felt right at home. Okay, just kidding - although I did enjoy a gin and tonic, (with two limes, of course), before my flight took off. It was comfy and cozy and much different than being in the “regular” airport. After a quick ride up to O’Hare in the shuttle I was happy to have the opportunity to be in such a great place until the flight left.

This is a particularly odd flight I understand because the flight is very empty. The row I am in was empty except for a man sitting all the way to the other end, (three seats between us), until he swapped with a couple, (Sikhs I believe), and the husband sat only one seat away from me so that his wife could have a couple of seats to lay down in. He asked me to move my things a moment ago so that he could lay down, but I’m afraid that once I give up the seat, I won’t get it back. I had to say no. I’m afraid that he’ll have to be sandwiched in between two women for now.

As I was walking down the bridge thing to board the plane I must have said, “Oh My God!!” about a dozen times! I can’t believe that I’m going to India. I can’t believe I’m going to India and yes, once again, I can’t believe that I am in a plane and by myself and on my way to INDIA, a place that is literally on the other side of my world back in Illinois.

One of the things that I use to tell people was that India was just simply an assault on the senses and that it is. In an attempt to prepare myself for the reality of it all I keep reaching back for memories that made such impressions on me almost two years ago. It’s overwhelming. The first time there I know that I was just too taken with everything. The responsibility of seeing patients, making sure the students were okay, being a part of such a large group not to mention just soaking in the sights, smells and energy of India.

It seemed like an out-of-body experience. I would wake up and enter my day only to realize that in some ways I wasn’t a part of it back then. I don’t want to do that this time. I want to be a part of every single moment and to enjoy it. I’ve taken every measure to ensure that the physical toll is not as difficult on me this time as it was before. The jet lag, the discomfort. It was all so difficult and I tried to think of anything and everything I could to make it better this time.


Not too bad....

We are a little over an hour away from Delhi now and I am amazed at how the time has flown. It has been nothing less than pleasant the entire trip. I did not have any trouble at all. The bathrooms are a little scary it’s true, but at this point I think I’ll be okay until reaching Delhi.

We were in so many airports when I came to India the first time that I’m struggling to remember what the airport in Delhi was like, but I think that it might be fairly modern and not “scary” like the old airport in Hyderabad was when we first landed. What an introduction to India! We had a layover in Frankfurt on the way over and so Hyderabad was our first exposure to India. It was quite something. We arrived at around 4 in the morning and of course, many of us needed to use the restroom when we landed. We walked in to be greeted by an attendant and various stalls with holes in the floor for facilities. It was unlike anything that we expected to be find at an airport and was a stark and immediate reminder that we had now entered a completely different world. Balance comes in handy in situations like that!

Each time I travel and each time I come home I am left with indelible impressions about the people, the smells, the EVERYTHING. It’s hard to forget. On the way over I began to count my blessings and realized what good fortune I have had to travel to so many places. My driver on the shuttle to Chicago was such a nice woman. I believe her name was Bernice and she was fascinated by my impending journey to India, which I have to admit I had taken a bit for granted. She had never traveled outside of the U.S. and she dreamed someday of taking a Caribbean cruise. Something I had done as well years before. It made me wonder what I had ever done to be able to go to such places. I started recounting them in my head: Clinic Abroad with Palmer to Bolivia and then to Peru to see Machu Picchu; Caribbean cruise to the Eastern Caribbean islands; all over the States; Hamburg, Germany and Rome, Italy to see the Vatican and the Sistine Chapel among the ruins of the Coliseum; now to India for a second time to be immersed even more fully in the culture by friends I could never imagine I would meet in the first place. I just don’t know what to think of all of this.

I spent an hour or so reading through every bit of information about Hindu weddings, particularly those of South India, and even though I’m still confused the take away message here is that everything that will be happening has been orchestrated in such a fashion that no detail is unimportant. These aren’t merely meaningless rituals, at least to most, and are done with all the best intentions. I don’t exactly know how I’m going to fit into all of this, but I’m open and ready for anything. Give me the henna, wrap me up in a sari and let’s give it a go! This will truly be an adventure of a lifetime.

I see that we are close to the Himalayas and Tibet and so many places I’ve always been curious about. When we flew to Germany we saw the Alps and on my journey before to India, we saw the Himalayas. Both are extraordinary.

I can feel that we are making our descent now and the flight attendants are anxious to get us the heck off this aircraft so that they can move on themselves. Being one of the only Americans on board, they’ve asked me a couple of times just what I’m doing going to Delhi and amongst the women expressed dismay at the lack of shopping opportunities due to Independence Day tomorrow. Oh well, they should be able to get a little power shopping in today!

Snapshots from my first journey to India

A little over a week...

It's Monday night, the 4th of August. I'm tired after 11 hours at work, but there is so much to do before I leave and time is ticking. I just finished shampooing the carpet because my little Gracie, princess that she is, has decided to simply relieve herself wherever and whenever the mood strikes. Ahhh, anything for her.

I got to talk with Deepthi today. I could hear the mesmerizing code of honking in the background and cannot believe that I'll be a part of that morse code of honkers :) in just a short while. 

She said that it's 99.9% possible that Sangum, "Dad", is going to be in Delhi to sit with me until the flight to Hyderabad leaves at 5:50 the next morning. I don't imagine that I will sleep much as it will be the first time that I'll actually be able to have a conversation with him since I left in October of 06. For reasons I cannot explain I have been able to converse exceptionally well face to face with both Sangum and my friend from Germany, Uwe, but over the phone it's hopeless. The beauty of facial expression and body language. Works every time. I'm so excited! We had such wonderful discussions during the many hours I did get to spend with them on the first trip and I'm sure there will be non-stop discussion when I arrive as well. I hope that the .01 percent doesn't alter this arrangement.

I'm nervous. I'm excited. I feel a bit surreal. What's the big deal right? It's just a trip to India to be a part of a Hindu wedding and experience the energy, mysticism and heartache of the largest democracy on earth. I will see the greatest wealth, jewels and riches while seeing the exact opposite of the spectrum with desperate poverty. Desperate poverty. It's just more desperate than anything I saw in South America, anything I've ever seen here and it presents a true dichotomy of life. On the one hand you see children, you see mothers smiling and raising them. You look around the corner and see someone with such a severe deformity that you want to take a picture of it just to prove that it's real. It hurts your heart. I mean physically. It hurts. It takes your breath away, it makes your throat tighten and at times I know that I would even hold my breath for a moment or two. I've never forgotten what I saw and I know I'll see it again. I know I'll hurt again, but by the same token, it's also inspiring in a way I never expected. 

We were riding in our bus to another site to adjust patients. We passed slum after slum after slum. Children were running around nearly naked at times and women were hard at work everywhere at the business of survival.  People could be found sleeping anywhere and everywhere amidst the constant deafening and confusing noise. It was miraculous. I remember so clearly that in the awe of all of this that people would stop what they were doing for just a moment when we drove by if we caught their attention. It must have been pretty odd to see us, this bus full of Americans. But, time after time if I could make contact with someone they would simply smile. It was genuine. It was like, "Welcome to my India. Even though my life might be considered to be a pile of shit by many standards, I'm still standing. I'm still here and grateful for each day." I'm no mind reader for certain, but I felt it like it was being said. Several people even waved at me. I don't know what I was expecting really. An obscene gesture?! I guess I just didn't expect such kindness and strength in the midst of hunger, deprivation and lack of the basic things that most people I have ever known, including myself at times, take totally for granted. 

Deepthi once said to me that nothing is wasted in India. Nothing. Food scraps - you name it. Sometimes when I go to dispose of food or other things that I call garbage I remember that. At those times I give thanks and I surrender to my belief that we are all in this together and there is some reason for this suffering and a lesson in their ultimate happiness in life. 

Indian people know how to party. I think I said it before, but it bears repeating. Until you've seen it with your own eyes there is no imagination for it. It's serious business and there's no need to do it on a small scale when it can be done bigger and of course, better. Deepthi casually says, "Well, we're expecting around 1000 people, but we'll tell the caterer to plan for 800. You never know." I was silent for a moment after that because I was in shock I think. WOW. BIG FAT WOW!

Well, it's getting late and there's more to do before bed. I know my friends in India will be checking this along with my American friends to see how I'm fairing before I leave. I just want to say that I hope that you've slept well. It's 9 in the evening here which must make it around 7 or so in the morning there. Have a cup of tea for me Dee and don't forget that you promised me as many as I could gulp down - num, num!!

My travel size toothpaste

Yes, I said it. Yesterday I bought a travel size tube of toothpaste. I'm sure that I'm ready to go now and all is well. :) It's a sign.

It still doesn't feel real although I'm surrounded by "things" that show me it's happening. I'm sitting on the couch in my bedroom and to my right is a stack of clothes I will iron and pack today and in front of me on the table along with my morning coffee I see the People Style Watch and Oprah magazines I bought the other day for the 15 hour flight to Delhi. I obsess about the details - always have and always will I'm sure. I've made about 16 different lists and continue to scratch off and condense as I go along. Something that seemed like it would either never happen or never get here is right around the corner for me now ready or not.

There haven't been any additional bombings in India that have made headlines recently and I'm glad for that. I think my mother would stage a sit-in at the Quad City Airport should it happen and so I'm hopeful that it will be quiet for a while to help calm her nerves. This has caused a great deal of upset, but I think she's made a certain peace about it at this point. Through my many discussions with my mother, (what I really mean here is: I'm listening, she's talking, I'm explaining, she's still not buying it.....), I was able to really define for myself what this experience will be all about and why I want to go. I feel really amazed that I get this opportunity to return to India to see my close friends there and to be a part of such an "auspicious" event. I know that I will never get this chance again and I can only imagine what lies ahead.

I said to my mother last night that I should write a book about this entire experience. Why not? I already have the perfect title: "An Irish Girl At An Indian Wedding". It's all downhill from there right? I'm not sure if that will ever happen, but no matter what I do intend to document as much of this experience through this blog, pictures, video and anything else I can get my hands on.

When I went to India the first time I had no idea what to expect and was overwhelmed by everything that it ended up to be. I don't think I could have prepared myself any differently and think back to what a different experience it would have been for me if I hadn't have met Deepthi when I did and shortly thereafter, the rest of her family in Hyderabad. The day after we arrived there was a major celebration called Diwali (pronounced "Divali"), otherwise known as the Festival of Lights. Part of the traditional celebration is to light fireworks and they don't mess around there. I remember distinctly that the night of Diwali my group from Palmer was eating a group dinner at the Taj Krishna, (our hotel was FABULOUS!!) outside on one of the patios there and the sky was literally filled with smoke and fireworks everywhere you looked. The sound of firecrackers was constant. There was no end to it for hours and no break in the sound. It seemed like we were in a war zone of sorts and I imagine that there were several casualties of the night as "regulations or restrictions" on the sorts of fireworks there is non-existent. We were all amazed and all I could picture was me standing there with a sparkler going, "Hey, will this work?!" I don't think so.

I learned that Diwali is a celebration dedicated to Lakshmi, (the goddess of wealth if you didn't already know - duh!), in their particular part of India. (I have since seen that in Bengal another goddess is involved. There are a lot of goddesses = girl power!) That's all I remembered so I looked it up and was reminded that it's also about the destruction of evil by Vishnu in one of the many manifestations he takes. A burning lamp symbolizes the "light of knowledge" that takes away the darkness of delusion and ignorance. I'm all about that. Evil sucks.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again now: SO many of the concepts, thoughts, human needs and desires - they are the same between us all. They may be called different things, but it's all about the very same things. Amazing.

This time when I go they will be celebrating their Independence Day. It's on August 15th, the very day that I arrive in Hyderabad. I'm landing in the morning and so am sure to get in on all of the celebrations of the day. Diwali involves visiting friends and family bearing and receiving "sweets" of all kinds, (that's what I remember about it anyway - there may be more), which seems to be a common theme in many of the traditional celebrations I know about. The people of India certainly know how to share with each other and there's a generosity there that is unsurpassed. I'm just sayin'.

I found this quote that I wanted to share with you about their Independence Day. Most people don't realize it, but as a fellow Democratic Nation, they far outnumber us and reign as the world's largest. When I think of that in context of the current war we're fighting, the number of lives lost and blood shed for this idea of Democracy, I have more appreciation for the fact that they've not had their Democracy for very long and that they also suffered and fought just as hard for it.  Anyway, here it is:

"At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes, which comes but rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new...India discovers herself again."  Jawaharial Nehru (on Indian Independence Day, 1947)

That's right: 1947! It wasn't until 1947 that India became free from British rule. Darn British! :) 

The only thing that I could find is that the national flag is displayed throughout the country and that there are a number of kites that are flown everywhere. It's interesting that on our Independence Day that we shoot off fireworks and are loud and noisy and for their Independence Day it is more subdued that Diwali. I'm curious to see what happens.

Okay - I know that my blogs are always so long, but I rarely get a chance to sit down, as you can see from the date of my last post. It's Sunday morning and before I get started on the list of "To Dos" that is a mile long and will end my day quickly, I thought I would take a few moments to update what's been happening.

BREAK - 

Yes, I took a break and started working on packing. I bribed my long time and very faithful friend K.D. with a bottle of Chardonnay to lend her fashion expertise and rifle through my closet with me. Knowing that I am definitely NOT going to blend into the crowd, I have to look as fabulous as possible! Deepthi has mentioned that she has several blouses and other things for me, but after an experience at a boutique there called Kalanjali when I was politely informed by the clerk that they did not have anything in my "size" because I'm a big American , (HEY - Not that big - c'mon!) I am making sure that I have enough clothes to last. When we were all done I had a little pile of clothes to pack up. Here's the count:

5 skirts

1 dress (I'll wear it will leggings and it will be PERFECT for at least one of the events)

1 pair of jeans

2 capris

3 pants

11 blouses

3 light long sleeved "jackets"

11 tank tops (I will always keep my arms covered - don't want to blind anyone you know)

Now to the shoes.....

3 pairs flip flops

3 pairs sandals

1 pair tan shoes (closed toe - small heel - for the dress!)

I list all of these things because again, I'm documenting this trip to the last detail AND I get a lot of teasing about the way I pack. I've taken great lengths this time to keep it under control and so I welcome commentary - bring it on!

Yes, I just got done ironing everything (it's my grandmother's fault) and now I'll begin packing it away in this awesome thing called a Pack-It. It's like a little folder with a handle that allows you to fold things in a certain way that maximizes space. If you don't have at least one, (I'll be using two), you don't know what you're missing. 

The plan is to get my clothes in the suitcase today and everything else that I know I'm taking. Homecoming at Palmer is this next week and it will pass like lightening because it's so busy. This is the last calm day I will have until right before I leave. Time to make the most of it.

Namaste, Julie Akka