When I went to Hyderabad, India on a Clinic Abroad trip through Palmer Clinics, I had an amazing experience with a hindu family by the name of Kalva. As fate would have it, just three weeks before my trip, I met a woman named Deepthi. I was doing a health screening at the local mall and in my excitement I randomly stopped what I thought was a couple from India as they walked by. I was so amazed that she was actually from the same city that I was about to travel to. In the short three weeks that I had to spend with her before I left I was able to meet with her several times and learn so many things that helped me immensely when traveling to an amazing place like India.
I still wasn't prepared for what I experienced, but with the support and hospitality of the Kalva family, I was able to see and be a part of many things in India that I would not have seen without them. Before it was over I became known as their American daughter and have kept in touch with them since October of 2006 when I originally went.
When I came home after the trip my relationship with Deepthi grew and my now husband and son also got to know her. Over the past 18 months or so her family has been searching for a suitable husband for Deepthi's younger sister, Kirtana. He has been found and they have not only been able to meet each other before the wedding, but have enjoyed a lengthy phone conversation daily in order to get to know each other better. It's not necessarily rigidly traditional, but still an arranged marriage and ultimately will be close to the customary process that women experience in this particular caste and class. Yes, those still exist. In fact, it was a crucial aspect to the selection of the husband because without being in a proper caste and class there would not even be consideration to the marriage. I have seen firsthand that an arranged marriage is truly more about a joining of two families more than it is the couple themselves. It's interesting and I don't really know if I can say with certainty that it isn't a smart way to go. I often wonder if people wouldn't be better off with the kind of scrutiny that is a part of the selection process of a suitable spouse in the Hindu tradition.
Even before a man was found for Kirtana, Deepthi knew that it would be happening eventually and I was invited some time ago to attend the wedding when it did happen. I remember thinking after I returned home at the end of 2006 that it would be just amazing to not only witness an Indian wedding, but to be a part of it the way I knew that I would as such a close family friend was something almost unreal to me.
Deepthi is in Hyderabad now preparing for the wedding. It is not an easy thing to do as this is a much larger process than any American wedding I've ever seen. This is a series of events that are complicated and lengthy and from what I've seen involve a great deal of detail. Deepthi told me that a good example would be to watch what happened on the movie, "Bend It Like Beckham". It's pretty interesting and if you're curious at all I would recommend the same thing. I might watch it again myself before I go.
That leads me to the big news!! Although Deepthi had asked and asked, I have to honestly say that I didn't think there would be any possibility that I would go. Plane tickets are outrageous right now, I knew that I would be going alone and I just simply thought that it would be nice, but wasn't part of the cards for me. I was wrong.
She called this past weekend on Saturday morning from India. It was after 11 o'clock at night there and she was just getting ready to go to bed. Once again she said that I didn't have a choice - I had to be there. She had found a ticket that was doable and before I knew it the plane ticket was booked. My husband is awesome!!
I will be leaving on August 13th returning on August 27th. I'm actually returning on my mother's birthday, just one week shy of my own. The timing works out really well with regard to work responsibilities and my husband has agreed to take care of everything at home. Essentially in less than one month I will be on my way to India writing blogs, posting pictures and even videos - that is, if I can figure out how to do it! Deepthi will be there and so I'm sure my technological challenges will be handled just fine! :)
India fascinates me. It's harsh and beautiful at the same time. I experienced what it was like to be a minority there in such a striking way and I'm curious to see what happens when I go back. When I was in South America people were not as open or "aggressive". While in India people lived in a different way and I wonder if perhaps the stark poverty, the reality of it all didn't take the typical "social inhibitions" away. I'm not sure, but I remember so clearly people wanting to touch my skin because it's so fair and I have red hair. Talk about sticking out in a crowd. I'm also like a foot taller than everyone else there so let's just say that I get noticed.
I can't wait to taste the food again, to see the crazy traffic, to hug my Indian family and have a nice long conversation with my Indian father in person where we have no problems communicating like we do over the telephone. I'm anxious to see what happens each day, to have my hands and feet painted with henna like the rest of the women, to be a part of a great big Indian party, (and they know how to do it right, let me tell you!), and really to feel the energy there. I feel a little scared about traveling such a long way by myself, but I know I will be fine. There is a reason why I am going, I know, and my safety will be taken care of.
I plan to share my thoughts, feelings, impressions and experiences with you from the heart as they come without reservation. I am hoping that in some small way you will be able to experience India with me as well.
If you are interested in the first blog I did when I took the original trip to Hyderabad, please visit www.docjmeetsindia.blogger.com.
Namaste!
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